Jesus said "whoever does not take up his cross and follow me is not worthy of me". Mat 10:38
He also said, "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brother's and sisters, yes even his own life, he cannot be my disciple" Luke 14:26
This is a hard thing to grasp, we love our family, and ourselves. They consume our thoughts and motives, we LOVE them.
But Jesus wants our love for him to be so far above any love we have for our family to look like hate in comparison. We deny self, follow Him, He is to be number one.
How do we get there? Spend TIME with him. Be in prayer, read His word, spend time with his children.
We choose Him over everything.
He is KING, bow to his feet and serve Him.
Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He shall lift you up James 4:10
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